This column was published in December 2006, but my feelings haven’t changed —you gotta hang your own Christmas lights. What is it about holiday home decorations that I find so appealing? Maybe it’s that for a month or so out of every year, a month when trees and foliage are at their most dull, a… Continue reading Holiday Home Decorating: Say No To Pros
The Grave Raver is our scariest Halloween decoration. After this column was published in October 2010, I received an email from the president of Gemmy Industries Corp. Even though I crapped on his products a bit, he said he “liked my style,” and offered to send me a free inflatable Christmas decoration. Damn my journalistic… Continue reading Dirty Dancing Ghost Makes For a Truly Scary Halloween
In light of my insensitive comments about Lou Ferrigno‘s disabilities, I’ve decided to run this article which shows how my opinions (and sense of humor) have changed. Oh, and if parents and educators are looking for guidance on preventing LGBTQ cyberbullying, here is a guide. Tracy Morgan is a professional comedian. He’s one of the stars… Continue reading Comedy means never having to say you’re sorry!
This is my final attempt at wise-ass humor circa 2000, where I cruelly goof on Lou Ferrigno’s deafness and speech impediment. I almost feel bad about it, but, as everybody saw on “Celebrity Apprentice,” the guy is kind of a dick. 20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO A World Champion bodybuilder, Lou Ferrigno followed… Continue reading 20 QUESTIONS WITH THE INCREDIBLE LOU FERRIGNO
I wrote this back in March 2000 for a satire web site that was trying to compete with The Onion. The site didn’t last long, even though I thought some of the material was pretty funny. If you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this one. It’s just a joke…fag. Flamboyant Rocker Jumps Back… Continue reading ELTON JOHN SHOCKER: “I’M NOT GAY!”
Here are my thoughts on gay marriage published in TODAY February, 2004. I am soooo far ahead of the curve on this one! (Ouch! I dislocated my shoulder trying to pat myself on the back!) Plus, the idea of an expiring/renewable marriage license is nothing short of brilliant! What is a marriage? In the eyes… Continue reading Marriage Counseling: Gays Welcome!
Here’s one for all the of the original Hulkamaniacs out there…everyone knows who the coolest Avenger is! BONUS : Check out my “20 Questions With Lou Ferrigno!“ I read all sorts of comic books growing up, but The Incredible Hulk was my favorite. But the big green galoot’s run is coming to an end, and… Continue reading The Incredible Hulk Is Dead! Long Live Hulk!
Welcome to the New Year! Well, not so new, really, but I’m slow blogging. Below is another example of how my opinions change over time. The first column is from September 1996, shortly after I took my a job in New York City. It’s a major bitchfest about my commute. The second post is from… Continue reading Commuter Blue, Commuter Pink
[I‘m working on a new column about product placement on “Days of Our Lives“, where plugs for Cheerios, Chex Mix, and Midol have been written into recent scripts, when I realized I wrote about something similar four years ago. Look below!] Good news: Television commercials are nearly extinct. The rise of TiVo, DVRs, broadband video… Continue reading Advertainment: Product Placement Makes Crap Crappier
[Being a columnist allows you to chronicle the way your opinion changes (or doesn’t) over time — sometimes drastically and embarrassingly so. Nowhere is this more evident than the column below. In February 1999 I was single, childless and carefree. Compare the column below with the next one I’ll post from 2002, six weeks after… Continue reading Proud parents await Millennium’s birth
